It is analysis or analysi? This is the question me and my companion, The Anonymous Chipmunk, ponder as we begin our quest. (What quest? We’re typing at our computers!) (It’s a meteorically quest, okay?)
In the lead up to the final book, the Blood of Olympus, (That title is a bit worrying.) I – along with the occasional italicized help of my (high functioning sociopath) chipmunk friend – am analyzing the man aspects of both the Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus series. We begin with taking a look back at the many books of Percy Jackson and the Olympians. (I’m not sure how this is going to end. Probably badly.) (What are we doing? I don’t even know I’m just playing with a slinky)
The Lightning Thief: In Which We Remember Nothing
While the hyperactive chipmunk continues to be distracted by slinky’s, I’m having a had time not using italics. So what should we say about this book? (All I remember is that time Percy almost got killed) (Which time?) (No idea.)
Anyways, never minding that, I think the basis is that we hardly remember anything about this book, but it must have been pretty darn good seeing as we went on to the next one.Oh, and Percy nearly dies a lot. (At least it’s only nearly) It introduces us to a large cast of characters, some of which bleed over into the new series. (Or die) (You’ll die if you don’t cut it out with the slinky.) *Slinkying stops* (I dropped the slinky) (I can tell. For a moment there was a blissful silence.)
The Sea of Monsters: In which…PARTY PONIES
(YES. THE PARTY PONIES.) (We are not just talking about the Party Ponies!) (BUT THEY ARE AMAZING) (ENOUGH ABOUT THE PONIES) (but…ponies)
From what I’ve seen, this book is often regarded as the weakest book in the series. It’s still better than most fiction, and introduces us (personally) to Hermes, Hylla (Later revealed to be Reyna’s sister), and most importantly Blackjack. There is also a lot of character development, but we will get to that later. (We’re trying to hit the high points) (And failing miserably)
The Titan’s Curse: In Which Tears, Pain, and Suffering Ensue. (Mostly caused by the di Angelo family)
My chipmunk is dead. The emotional pain over the loss of Zoe and Bianca killed him. *Chipmunk wailing* And Nico’s entire existence is just really depressing. (my poor baby…) This book, over all, is just really painful. It also introduces a bright spot in the form of Rachel Elizabeth be careful with that word I’m blowing my nose Dare.
(I forgot how Bianca dies. I feel like a total jerk now) (You pronounce her name like a Pokemon character too, so you can feel bad about that as well.) (How does she die?) (She blows up a big giant geary thing don’t you remember? Giant geary thing…So poetic, self.) ( remember now and Nico didn’t believe Percy and… *More chipmunk wailing*) (He also summoned a bunch of skeleton things but we’re not going to talk about that)
The Battle of the Labyrinth: In Which We (Wrongly) Think We Actually Have Something to Talk About, and Kit Feels Like a Villain.
(Well at least we can talk about this because the Labyrinth starts to reform in The House of Hades.) (Which is infinity terrifying. And partially my fault.) (How? Is it because capture the flag?) (Uh hu. I feel like a villain. I thought up something a bad guy did!) (Because you are a villain, Kit.) (Maybe I should just go to a school of villainy and grow a mustache.)
The Last Olympian: In Which WE Yell About Plot Twists, and Kit Cries Over Luke Eternally. (Because reasons, okay?)
(Why must you bring that up? And in the title too?) (Because it’s an important moment in the series and needs to be talked about?) (Not a good enough reason.) (I’M SORRY OKAY)
So this book leads us into some of the more painful moments of the series, beginning with EXPLOSIONS. The emotional trauma continues into the rest of the book, some of the
high LOW points being the death of lots of characters we foolishly got attached to, HESTIA, LUKE’S MOM, AND LUKE IN GENERAL. Not to mention – (Let’s not even go there, okay?) So in short? Pain. Yes, very much pain.
(You know, didn’t the fates out right confirm Percy would live to an old age?) (EUREKA! YOU’RE RIGHT. Unless the giants age him. and it also doesn’t say anything about Annabeth.) (I hate you) (Thank you)
This was an absolute wreck and I’m blaming you.
You’re a jerk.
I am not a jerk I am a squirrel do your research you lowly chipmunk.
Shut up you peasant. We can dig great tunnels, what can you do? Bury nuts?
No, I throw them at peoples faces. I don’t dig in the dirt. I. AM. CIVILIZED.
Well I can get ran over by a bicycle multiple times and live.
Only your kind would be stupid enough to get ran over in the first place. Because of you I am a bitter, violent squirrel.
Don’t you DARE bring that here. THAT IS THE WRONG. FANDOM.
You know what ten plus one is?…Eleven. *Kit dissolves into sobs*
*Chipmunks away into the sunset, playing with slinkys*
Tune in (Sometime) in March for an analysis (Analisi?) of the villains and monsters of the Heroes of Olympus. (And we actually get our act together…Maybe)